Are you so surprised to be getting a new blog post from me? Despite what you may have begun to think, I’m not dead!
2020 was quite the year, wasn’t it? Social distancing, self-isolation, working from home, wearing masks, unfathomable deaths, anxiety, violence, insurrection. This time last year, none of those things were on my mind. Now, they are familiar, part of my day-t0-day life. Even I, with my inability to remember the dates of significant events, will remember 2020.
Of all the things this past year will signify, however, the biggest one for me occurred on February 5, 2020. In the middle of the night, trying to entertain myself through a bout of insomnia, I was following a rabbit trail of articles about gender and sexual diversity. Then I read THE article, the piece that cracked my egg.
Picture a chick inside an egg, cramped up in the dark. When it’s ready to step out into the world, stand up and be seen as the bird that it is, it starts to peck at that shell until it cracks. I was that chick, in the dark, folded over in knots, hardly able to move. But that article, the words I learned there, the picture of possibility that emerged, helped me to realize I was in the dark and gave me the strength to push against that shell so it would start to break. The light streamed in and I knew I could be born.““
A year ago I began a journey of discovery, of worry, of openness, of receiving, of giving, of companionship, and of love. You have been part of that journey. Being able to share with you my thoughts about coming out, about transformation and adjustment has helped me to be settled and sure in my new identity. When I was feeling especially vulnerable and unsure, invariably I heard from one of you, thanking me for my story and encouraging me to continue. Thank you.
After those months of sharing my journey with you, I was asked to present some teaching about gender and sexual diversity to my spiritual formation community. What started as a three week commitment stretched to 14 weeks. We explored faith through the lens of a marginalized community. It was full and rich and deeply meaningful. There was a very obvious thread that ran through all of our discussions about the Divine Family: love. I am loved, you are loved, everyone you meet is loved. Everything hinges on it, everything depends on it, everything flows from it.
In the midst of that 14 weeks, I got a new job. I’m working in a new ministry, doing something completely different than anything I’ve done before. I love it! I’m the Engagement Coordinator for the Ministry of Highways. I get to think about and create initiatives to make people’s working lives more satisfying, to make sure all people are included, to recognize people’s efforts, and to help people feel like they belong. I look forward to going to work every day. I’m learning all the things!
All these things are happening in the midst of an ongoing global catastrophic pandemic.
Thus my silence these last few months. After a springtime of budding and new growth, a summer of glorious flowering and abundance, autumn arrived with the dying back, and then the silent slumber of winter. Thank you for weathering the seasons with me. Thank you for your enthralled and curious attention of watching and checking the springtime garden. Thank you for rejoicing in the lavish summer. Thank you for appreciating the change of autumn. And thank you for your patience through the waiting of winter.