This post is the thirteenth in a series.
I did quite a bit of journaling through the time when I was coming to recognize my reality. I would like to share some of these entries with you as a window into what it means to come out. Please come back to read through the rest of the journey. If you haven’t read the first, you can click here to be redirected to that post, called Truth. From there, at the bottom of each post you can navigate to the next.
What’s always been there in my relationships with women? I think there’s been fear that I’m not measuring up to expectations. I think I’ve been pushing against expectations of myself. I’ve wanted to stay out of a box that I feel people are pushing me into. Perhaps, though, I’ve been the one doing the hardest pushing. And maybe I’ve been thinking that God is doing some pushing too. I’m supposed to feel a special affinity for the femininity of Spirit Mother – I push against that too, I think. Spirit, help me to see you as you are.